Casting Crumbs

My Friend Jeanette sent this to me and I had never read it before. I made me laugh and I thought I would share it with you today. Have a happy Friday!

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road…?

DR. PHIL:
The problem we have here is that this chicken won’t realize that he must first deal with the problem on “THIS” side of the road before it goes after the problem on the “OTHER SIDE” of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he’s acting by not taking on his CURRENT” problems before adding “NEW” problems of roads.

OPRAH:
Well I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so bad. So to help him get on with his life, I’m going to give this chicken a car and a driver …so that he can just drive across the road and realize his dream of becoming superchicken.

GEORGE W. BUSH:
We don’t really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is either against us, or for us. There is no middle ground here…

DONALD RUMSFELD:
Now to the left of the screen, you can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken crossing the road.

BILL CLINTON:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE:
I invented the chicken!

JOHN KERRY:
Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong
road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken’s intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against it.

ANDERSON COOPER/CNN:
We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

JUDGE JUDY:
That chicken crossed the road because he’s GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN:
To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART:
No one called me to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer’s Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level.

DR SEUSS:
Did the chicken cross the road?
Did he cross it with a toad?
Yes, the chicken crossed the road,
but why it crossed I’ve not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY:
To die in the rain. Alone.

BARBARA WALTERS:
Isn’t that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first
time, the heart warming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON:
Imagine all the chickens in the world crossing roads together – in peace.

ARISTOTLE:
It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES:
I have just released eChicken2006,which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your check book. Internet explorer is an integral
part of eChicken. The Platform is much more stable and will never cra…#@&&^( C \….. reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN:
Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS:
Did I miss one?