I have to share this hilarious story with you. Now if you are a male, you may not understand this at all. However, if you are a woman especially around the 40 something years and above, I think you will identify with it.
Last night we found ourselves stopping in a large department store. It was about 8:40 p.m., the sun had set and it was dark out. The parking lot was full and Jaden and I had to go back to the car for something. We were walking back inside when I saw this lady exit the store. She was tall and thin, nicely dressed like she had been at work all day, sporting nice dress slacks and a cute blouse. She even had a hat on her head. What I noticed was her really trendy square purse she had because it was hanging around her neck. Not slung across her shoulder but literally hanging around her neck and sitting on her chest like a big headlight. The strap was pretty short so I realized that it took some doing for her to get that around her neck; the hat definitely had to come off. I thought to myself that she must have just come out of the bathroom. There must not have been a hook on the door to hang her purse on, and instead of setting it on the filthy floor by the toilet, she hung it around her neck.
She then stopped right outside the door and started scanning the sea of cars in the parking lot. It was clear she had forgotten where she parked. She then holds her keys in her hands, raises her arm straight out about eye level and waves her arm slowly back and forth across the mass of cars. About the time I realize this lady might just be crazy, I hear the raucous sound of a car alarm going off. A look of “Aha, there it is!” passes over her face and she purposefully strode toward the squawking vehicle.
After taking all this in I am about to die of laughter. I hold it together until I get inside and then lose it. Tom is wondering what is so funny and I’m trying to explain to him the whole picture I just saw. He is only slightly amused and I can tell he just isn’t getting it. So as I try to explain the extreme humor in the situation I blurt out. “It’s funny because I can totally relate to that lady! That could be me in about a year.”
I know some of you are already nodding and understanding; probably feeling a kinship with this dear lady. There is definitely something that happens somewhere around the 40’s when our brain changes. They say it’s peri- or pre- or the beginnings of menopause that does this to us. I’m not entirely sure that that’s the case. I’m just wondering if our virtual memory begins to run low in our brains. I think maybe every night while I sleep the brain fairy goes through all the new memory that I have used during the day and out of necessity must delete some old files to make room for the new ones. The hard part about that is you never know what is going to be dumped. It may be something that you need to use the very next morning. I now have to live and die by the calendar. If it ain’t on the calendar, it ain’t happenin’! And heaven forbid you forget to check the calendar; we know where that leads. Tom has joked that I am becoming sharp as a bowling ball. Yeah, I can laugh because, dogonnit, it’s sort of true.
So needless to say, when I saw Miss Purse-Around-The-Neck standing there, it was like watching a real live example of what happens in my head sometimes. We try as women to keep it all together, to look like we have our ducks lined up, dressed and behaving. Our schedules and kids are where they need to be and success is written all over us; all the while still looking hip and trendy. Yet there are those moments when the RAM fills up momentarily, we have to throw all pretense and presentation to the wind and just focus on how to get from Point A to Point B. We find ourselves at a simple crossroads that is suddenly feeling monumental: we could wander the dark parking lot, in the heat and humidity, and try to find that car….or just press the panic button. Like a lighthouse on a hill, oh look, it’s Point B! All I can say is – GENIUS!
So if you see me outside of a department store with a lost look on my face don’t be surprised if you experience this one for yourself.